Let's do the time-warp again!

 Allow me to apologize for the lack of posting I have been doing. To make it up, here is a long post full of fail, flames, and music.

So we decided to hop into my friend's survival world, due to one of our other buddies decided to finish what he originally started.

Not even 15 seconds into him spawning, we hear him screaming, "Oh God! Help! Help me!"

"What the fuck is he screaming about?" I ask him politely. It turns out he was being chased by four spiders, all of them extremely pissed and saw our poor friend as an easy target.

"Oh yes, allow me to become spider bait!"

The dude in the background who we will refer to as "knight", decided to hide in my house. I was too busy pissing my pants laughing to do anything.

Buddy #1, who I shall refer to as "Ninja", managed to piss them off somehow, and forced the swarm to attack him.

I'm guessing they didn't like my diving suit, because they all turned on me and next thing I knew I was sent to Davy Jones's fucking locker!

After having a pleasant chat with Davy Jones I decided to do what any person would do:

Jump up from the water like "Jaws" and scare the shit outta my friend.

Cue "Jaws" music...

Couple minutes later we decided to experiment with the lightning physics to see if we could light my house on fire. Why my house? Because "Ninja" is a bitch. And "Knight" wasn't about to lose his hard-earned, uh, "creation".

Unfortunately that failed flat (HA! Suck it, Ninja!).

As a back-up plan, we decided to bake a cake and light everyone's house on fire in a glorious spectacle. I'm pretty sure "Ninja" is a fucking pyromaniac.

There was one problem: no wheat. So in a desperate attempt we all stood around a couple of wheat piles and yelled at them with profanity, some Eminem & Rhianna, and trying to do the time warp again!

"Grow you motherfucker!"

Shouting swears at it isn't going to make it grow faster dudes.

Surprisingly one crop grew half-way after "Love the way you lie" with Eminem ft/ Rhianna played.

A Goddam Ninja, a Medeivel Knight, and Jacque Cousteau watching wheat grow...

Yep, it was thrilling watching it grow!

After about a year, we finally got our cake and ate it too! Then I decided to steal the flint-and-steel from "Ninja" (Fuck you ya pyromaniac!) And began to "Light my fire", as the song goes.

It took about five minutes for "Ninja's" house to actually fully die off. While "Knight's" house was second with enough damage to warrant the insurance company to pay for his damages.

At least the bed and chest are still intact.

While my house took the LEAST amount of damage, though I use that world very lightly.

I hope my insurance covers "Bullshit Damages."

Note to self: Keep all flint and Iron away from Ninjas; they be lightin' everything on fucking fire.

And that's why I hate Ninjas.