So I recently got Dishonored as an early gift of sorts, and I frigging' love this game. I will not go into detail about the game: too much to talk about.
Anyways at some point I was tasked with crashing a party to kill some lady who and her sisters are real evil and what not. But I had a optional objective to see some dude and give him a note.
The party was a masquerade, or a masked-ball of sorts. My "other target" was wearing a wolf mask. Easy enough, seeing as everyone else was wearing a fly, a whale, a giant-frigging' shark, and I think a tumor.
Dunno. Didn't care. Because everyone had pouches full of money I could pick-pocket off and no one would catch me in the process.
Hey, they were all rich aristocrats, and I'm an assassin: I need to get paid for my job SOMEHOW. And they don't need it. Nyah! Nyah! Nyah!
Anyways after eaves dropping, excuse me "listening" to some gents talking about my target being outside, I quickly picked their coin purses, mocked their masks and bad style choice, and legged it to my buddy.
He was with two city guards, who were having a smoke and shooting the shit with Mr. Wolf, as I will call him.
So I walk up to him all like "Yo, Mr. Wolf, I totally have this letter for ya from a friend of mine." The friend is a major character in the game, who asked you to give the note to Mr. Wolf.
So I gave the note to him, and he trows it to the ground and starts gettn' all angry and stuff.
"Damn him that cowardly piece of shit!" he exclaimed.
I'm standing here thinking "what is going on?"
Then we walk up to this box, and one of the guards is like "Let it be known there are two pistols in this box and Mr. Wolf and the civilian are to be armed."
A DUEL?!!??!?!??!?!?!?!
The guard continues, "You will both step on the marked platforms and await for my count from three. Then you will both turn around and fire."
CAN'T I JUST CUT THE BITCH IN HALF? OR SUMMON A PACK OF RATS TO EAT HIM?
Mr. Wolf, impatient stops the guard. "Yes, yes let's get on with it. I will kill this fool and we can head back inside."
DO I LOOK LIKE A BITCH?!?!?!?!?!
You know, I think rats are too good for you. A pack of squirrels to eat you alive seems like a better idea. Heh, heh, heh.
So we take our positions and I wait for guard dude to count. Now the game gives you these powers, one of which can slow down time.
So when the guard hits "one," I hit "Slow-mo," turn around, and shoot the bitch in the throat.
"Witchcraft!" the guard yells.
"Oh, I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?!" I rebuttal.
"Another patron dead," the second guard said. "Let's go get some whiskey. Let the Boyle's clean this mess up."
Cheers, guys! So in total gloat I summon a pack of rats to eat the bastards corpse while laughing devilishly.
This apparently pissed off four other guards including the two dumb and dumber, which came over, beat my rats into paste, and then continued to hack at me.
"DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?! Yes. Yes he does. So let me have my glory, assholes."
Note to self: Just tea bag the fucker and move right along. Which I did after a re-load. And I stole his coin purse and mocked his mask. Ha. Ha.
Lesson of the day kiddies: If your in a duel, use slow-motion time-bending bullshit to turn around and shoot the bastard and then gloat as the guards look in awe.
But don't summon a pack of rats to "hide" the body. Uncle Canadian Dude learned the hard way what happens if done so.
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