Happy New Year's everyone! It's time to start those resolutions that everyone makes...and usually falls flatter than a pancake. So in honor of the new year's spirit, I decided to share some of mine. You know, so that you can mock and compare notes with me.
Get a JOB.
- For some, you already have a job. Good on ya! For the rest of us, were sitting in front of the paper flippin' through the "Now Hiring" section looking for placement of just about anything.
True, McDonald's is a one-stop place for greasy, whiny, bitchy teens to take your order at the drive-thru, and then serve you the wrong food in the end, but some of us have "class" per se.
Personally, I would like to work at such establishments like IKEA. I couldn't pronounce half the crap they have in-store, but I could be a good salesmen.
Random person: Excuse me, can you tell me about this bed?
Me: That ain't no bed, that's called the "Tie-me-to-the-post-and-do-nasty-things-to-me 2000. Now with memory foam! Also known as "Bettrahmen der Sex mit Memory-Schaum."
I may have to work on my pitch a little bit.
Not Swear At All
- If you have been reading this blog, you will tell I have been a "potty mouth."
I swear more than a drunken sailor on shore leave. Anybody who knows me, can attest to that. I look at swearing as a means of getting what I was thinking (or am thinking) at the time across. It's a very bad habit.
So, I am committing myself to not swear at all in this blog, in real life, or anywhere else until the fucking end of the world.
...Son of a bitch.
Write a Bloody Novel/Short Story
- Funny enough, I like writing. Hence, this blog. But I have yet to put pen to paper to actually write one of the 179 ideas I have. Or fingers to keyboard for you young people.
I am not kidding. I have a whole book on friggn' ideas. I hope this year will be the year I get at least ONE out. Self doubt is kinda a bitch though.
If all else fails, then I'll just write about vampires that sparkle and have weird love triangles. Oh, shit, wait...
Do a "Let's Play" and Not Crap Out of It
- So, yeah, Dead Space...it's coming. Slowly.
Use Twitter more Often
- I have to be twittering more. Seems to be the new "Facebook." Without the bullshit.
Take Blogging Seriously
- Why do you think this is called "Today on Random..." Too many serious blogs! It's time we got silly!
Do not Break any Resolutions
- Fail. NEXT!
Learn How to Cook
- I'll be the first to admit I never knew how to cook proper. Ever since I burnt popcorn when I was a teen, and making my parents think I almost burnt down the house.
So this year I will try to make recipes and take food more seriously. Instead of just shoving it in my face and calling it a day.
If I'm ever gonna find the woman of my dreams, I'm gonna have to start somewhere. I already clean, do laundry, and DRIVE.
Bonus points.
Play Dark Souls and Finish the Game
- When Hell freezes over and pigs fly. Mmmmmmmm...Flying Bacon....
Learn to Do Math
- I think I'll leave math to the experts. It's a scary sight when I do math.
Get Outside more Often
- I'm a nerd. The only time I go outside is when I do shopping with my mom.
So I promise myself to get out more. Attempt to. Alone. *Shivers*.
Enjoy the New Year
- Above all else, I will try to enjoy this year. I am done school, I am looking for employment, and finally getting off my lazy ass to do what I'm good at:
Writing, taking photos, and making people laugh. At my pain. Because people suffering is good for the soul what I hear.
I hope you as well enjoy this new year. Whatever resolution you have, try to stick with it. It may be a big event, but new year's is just another day. Treat it like any other, and power through happy, healthy, love and be loved.
I look forward to what's in store for me, the blog, and everybody reading this. I hope to keep you all laughing for years to come.
If your a fellow follower, I thank you for sticking with me so far. If your new, I welcome you, and hope you enjoy your stay.
This is Uncle Canadian Dude from Today on Random, saying happy 2013 to all!
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