Dark Souls Ep. 2 1/2: So Many People to Talk To/Kill Off...

 Alright so this is a catch-up post. I will introduce you to some new faces, items and explain some things here and there. I will post a super-special post Saturday, November 10th. Or this Saturday to be straight.

To give you an idea what I went through for Sat. post: Ninjas. Demon dogs. Goat demon. Crazy zombie lady. Oh, and GODDAM NINJAS!!!!!

Moving on then.

"Warrior of Sunlight" Covenant

In the last post you saw me using lightning bolts and using a gesture called "Praise the Sun." These are the perks of joining the "Warrior of Sunlight" covenant.

To do this you need 25 faith and to pray at the alter shortly after running under the bitch-ass dragon.

So what happened to the statue? Dragon shat on it and it broke?

From here, you can give sunlight medals to upgrade the normal lightning spear to a greater form. However after that there is no point in being in the covenant anymore. Usually there are more perks but this one's for ya faith builds who like shooting giant-ass spears of pain at people. I know I do.

I wonder if I tickle it's feet; will it kick?

Say hi to Sloaire

Solaire here can be summoned at certain bosses for jolly co-operation! However his AI is dumb and usually he just dies in a fit of dumbness. He also gives you sunlight medals if you win against the boss.

Crazy-ass merchant

While in Undead Parish, why not visit the local merchant.

'Sup.

He sells basic crap for starter people. However he sells the most important item so far: The bottomless box.

This thing allows you to store anything you have on you into it; getting rid of your equipment burden. That, and if your inventory is clogged with useless shit this is a good place to banish it.

There is no "selling" feature. You either give the item to someone who summoned or you summoned, or ya give it to a special someone to eat. More on him at a later time.

Lautrec the Dick Head

Before the Gargoyles Bob and Steve, you have a chance to save an NPC called Lautrec. Once saved, he moves to Firelink Shrine (the big starting place) and parks his glorious golden ass across from the fire keeper.

You don't look or sound evil at all!

Actually he is evil. After you ring the second plot bell, he kills the fire keeper. Not a big deal? It is when you can't rest at that bonfire until you invade his golden ass.

Trust me; It's a royal pain in the ass losing this bonfire. So were going to do what any sensible person would:

KICK HIS SORRY ASS OFF THE CLIFF "SPARTA!" STYLE.

This...Is...

DARK SOULS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Come at me, Bitches!"

Now that he's dead, quit out and load back in. Yep, you heard me.

Thanks for the ring asshole!

There's a "bug" where if an NPC falls off a cliff; Quit out and load back in. If they drop anything, their stuff pops up where they were last. In this case, sum number of souls, five humanity, and that ring. Good for melee builds.

The Black Knight

Still in Undead Parish, we go back to that little stairway down where I showed ya's in Episode One. Here, a Black Knight camps a crappy ring, but it's what he drops is good.

Don't try this at home. I am a professional.

Professional of Bullshit.

Anyways this dude hits pretty hard and can be a bitch to kill at low level. If you can parry him or backstab him, it'll make life easier. However I am using a +5 Halbeard at this point so he goes down well with poking motions.

Suck it ass wipe! Thanks for the chunk!

Only 800 souls? Those things deserve waaaay more.

It's supposed to boost defense before you die. I'm already dead when it kicks in.

See this alley? We'll be going down there.

Lots of evil things live in that alley. *Shivers...*

Havel the Rock and his Dragon Tooth of Doom

Also mentioned before, behind a little door lies a big angry hollow man; Havel the Rock.

He drops a ring I would kill for, (well I am anyways durrrr) but the problem lies in his weapon of choice:

Holy shit a Dragon's Tooth?!

It may be hard to see, but that is a Dragon's tooth. And it will almost one-shot you if ya get too cocky. 95% of the time it will.

At low level, it is NOT recommended to fight him. He can take a shit ton of damage. Best bet: Back stab the bitch. A frontal attack will leave you open for M.C. Hammer puns and a trip back to the bonfire. Yes, I do have a lot of personal experience.

Hammer-Time this!

Once he finally dies, he drops his ring. A very good ring for heavy armor sets. As you go from fat rolling to moving through the air with the grace of a penguin.

If my Halbeard breaks from you, I am going to carve another one from your fat ass!

Eh, your ring will suffice.

Andre the Blacksmith and his manly chest

Near the Undead Church is a Blacksmith Andre.

Dude. How can *I* look like that?

He can upgrade, repair and sell you stuff for souls and titanite shards. He also sells smith boxes for upgrades to armor, weapons, and repairs while resting at a bonfire.

He's pretty much a badass and is the source for leveling up weapons beyond regular smiting. Such as enchanting it to be divine or a higher level.

Told ya.

We are officially caught up! This Saturday will be a special post and will give details on a poll coming shortly after.

See you all Saturday!