You call this an Apocalypse?

 Well as I sit and write this in my pajamas I continue to ponder what all the fuss was about with this "Apocalypse" stuff. I was originally going to make this a boring old update post, but I am in some pain and sick, so I will have fun with this.

Why, oh why did so many bloody people give a fuss about the friggn' end-of-the-world bullcrap? Everyone points to the Mayan calendar showing that it ends pretty much around this time, which gives warning bells to dumbasses...excuse me; rednecks, jocks, hipsters and rarely stoners, that were all gonna die!

Uh...last time I checked, the Mayans didn't see a couple things coming their way:

- The arrival of the Conquistadors
- The soon-to-be full-scale war with the Conquistadors
- Their own friggn' annihilation
- The coming of "Twilight."

Would you really rely on a society that didn't even see their own demise coming towards them like a freight train?

Hell, Nostradamus is a better medium to tell us when the aliens will invade us and probe our asses.

Now, as for the "Four Horseman," I would be dammed well surprised if they could travel the globe, on horseback, and wipe out entire civilizations.

They would be making some pit stops along the way to sink in the sights. Like the Three Gorges Damn spewing out lava instead of water. Las Vegas turns into one of the seven circles of hell. I bet Gluttony.

Or why not stop by Quebec? Fake-french people who despise the English? Sounds like an average day at the office for the horseman.

Personally, a zombie apocalypse has a better chance of popping up than Godzilla trampling through Japan.

And if it does, us nerds will be the last ones standing. Why do you think "Left 4 Dead" exist? As a fun game? Nooooo, it's a zombie-training simulator.

Then again, there are hundreds of people who have spent - ballparking it - thousands on guns, nuke shelters, maybe a small army in the event shit DOES hit the fan. Those poor freaks.

The rest of us just point and laugh at their existence. Saying "crazy ass fools! That shit will never happen!" And then we find out we will be the first to die. Figures.

Whatever you believe in: Zombie apocalypse, end of the world, Honey Boo-boo runs for President, 10-to-one something's gonna go down. But right now, I think it's best to just enjoy life to the fullest and not worry about the little things.

So if your currently in your bomb shelter reading this:

YOU CAN COME OUT NOW. Ya crazy son's of bitches.